January 30: Top Ten Books I Can’t Believe I Read
When I was considering this particular prompt it occurred to me that I had never explicitly thought about books that I can’t believe I’ve read, because why would I? Sure, there are books that I didn’t enjoy, or possibly even hated, but you can’t like everything – that’s just life – but surprisingly enough, there were a handful of books that I now question myself for reading, for one reason or another.
1. Grey by E.L. James
Unashamedly, I quite enjoyed the original Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, even if the writing was horrific, but this retelling from Christian’s perspective was an abomination of the highest order. Just so bad.
2. The Prisoner of Zenda by Anthony Hope
Easily the most boring “fantasy” novel I’ve ever read. It was more like historical fiction, which is possibly my least favourite genre of all time. Yawn.
3. Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison
Even when I read this series as a pre-teen I knew it was terrible, but I re-read the first two volumes a few years ago and I was simply shocked at just how bad it is.
4. Flying With Confidence by Patricia Furness-Smith and Steve Allright
It’s all very well for a Captain to have the surname Allright, but sadly this book did not succeed in helping me become less scared of flying, ergo epic fail.
5. The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon
I had high hopes for this book, given that it is published by Bloomsbury and pitched as the next Harry Potter, but it fell completely flat. I couldn’t identify with the characters or their physical movements, and it was just a huge let down unfortunately.
6. All I Know Now by Carrie Hope Fletcher
I like Carrie as a YouTuber and a singer, so when I heard she had written an “advice book/memoir” I knew I wanted to read it, but unfortunately I was years older than the intended reading age so I just didn’t connect with the situations.
7. Love, Tanya by Tanya Burr
I vow in 2018 to stop reading books by YouTubers just because they are popular. This particular book was trying to be everything, and it ended up being next to nothing (the baking recipes saved it somewhat).
8. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
This novel wasn’t bad – far from it – but the sheer number of times I tried (and failed) to read it (until 2017) means it deserves its place on this list.
9. Don Juan by Lord Byron
This inclusion relates to my sheer amazement at having read this monster. It’s something I never would have even considered reading if it weren’t for my English MA, but I definitely feel a sense of achievement at having done so.
10. Paradise Lost by John Milton
Appearing on this list for similar reasons to Don Juan, this epic poem is something that I am amazed (and strangely proud) that I read in its entirety.
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